The Mystery of Presence

My memory is stained with moments of being arrested by fear that I wrestled through alone. In the presence of people who weren’t present, I learned how to ache inconspicuously. With youthful naïveté, I began to believe that if I needed less, it’d be easier to love me. As a babe, taking on the task to nurture my own soul (mind, will, and emotions) seemed to be most considerate, but I didn’t realize it was a duty that is often very heavy for even a village to carry.

A village. It’s often said, “It takes a village to raise a child.” While that may be true, I’d like to offer the notion that it takes a village to navigate this life in its entirety. Support through the sleepless nights of adjusting to a newborn and support when our bones become too frail to support our frame after we’ve engaged in decades of existing.

There is no trophy for standing on the frontlines of the human experience alone. There’s no reward for surviving seasons of suffering isolated through the fight. The scripture paints with color the necessity of relationship, but even practically explains that two are better than one because when one falls, he has another to help him up.

Moved by pride and relational poverty, I’ve held tightly to individualism and hyper-independence for decades. Intrinsically, my body had been asking for a change. For far too long, I couldn’t remember the last time I engaged in a hug or had a conversation that wasn’t transactional. Seemingly, divinely directed… I got an opportunity to see the benefit of an active village. Sitting on the outside of someone else’s opportunity to burden their people, in front of me was evidence that the need for support wasn’t synonymous with shame.

To be seen while clothed in the frailty of failure or the subjection of sickness or the grip of grief and still be loved, be held, and be honored heals with a specificity that is medicinal. Laughter is medicine and so is simply breathing in the presence of your people.

This is the mystery of presence. Presence is potent. It’s powerful. Presence is disarming and delightful. Presence is filling. It’s life-preserving and restorative. Show up for yourself, show up for your people, and allow yourself the privilege of receiving the presence of those who are pulled to be present for you in a way that is pure and unconditional.

xx,

kayla