The Gift That Keeps Giving

After embracing the reality that giving of my time is also a gift, given… I gifted time yesterday.

I went to a gathering to celebrate someone whom I’ve known for just a few months, but whose light I’ve openly acknowledged and admired from day one. We celebrated her time given and honored the ending of such deposition. With a list of reasons why I shouldn’t have gone, there was only one that pulled me there, appreciation.

This woman has that special “something” or what the French may refer to as, “Je ne sais quoi.” I see it as embers. Her willingness to stand her ground in authenticity emits a constant heat that blazes a trail while simultaneously igniting others to excel by staying true to themselves.

A resourceful fire as opposed to one of ravenous rage destroying everything that gets close to it. Her presence permitted mine to bloom in a way that is fearless, feminine, and fragrant with ingenuity.

I learned that presence is qualitative. One of my core values is ensuring that those around me feel seen, but yesterday prompted me to evaluate what that means in this current season of my life.

I found that there must be a willingness to understand others to the degree of depth the relationship holds and the vulnerability to allow them to understand me. To engage in such intimacy (on any level), I must always be present with myself. This is the gift that I am to give to myself; it becomes the perpetual present, this presence.

For in proximity with my personhood, when I allow myself to be present… I bear witness to a girl who felt forgotten, a woman whose strength seems divine, a big sister who’s fighting to break cycles, a friend awaiting an opportunity to be friendly, a daughter longing to be mothered, a lover whelmed with passion, a creative genius who is making it all beautiful somehow…

All present at once. All worthy of acceptance despite their condition. When I face her without wincing in shame, I’m then mantled with a remarkable reward of (self) honor that allows me to see and celebrate others without feeling depleted.

I gifted my time to someone else yesterday; the return on the investment was immediate.

xx,

kayla